As a child I used to spend my summers at my grandmothers in the countryside, they were the happiest days of my life. I have memories of sunny days at the nearby lake going fishing with my cousins, the two dogs and my brother, simple times and yet so wonderful they have etched themselves into my brain.
One of the places we fished from was called The Deep Rock, you caught the best fish from there as the rock was an outcrop that overhung a deep pool that few ventured to fish from. That deep rock today is a lot smaller and less intimidating than it was then, it’s a good example of how our perspective changes as we grow older. The adventure and mystery was all part of those summers and also how our imaginations conjured up the scenarios for us to play out.
Grannies’ was a little Taylor Cottage in the countryside with a doric fireplace that not only heated the large main room but also served as the cooker, there was no central heating for the bedrooms that branched off the main room and there was a small scullery to the back of the cottage that had been added to the original cottage. There was running cold water, but an outside toilet, so pretty basic regarding creature comforts like I had at home where I had my own bedroom and we had central heating and a bathroom that had a toilet and a bath and shower facility. Despite this downgrading of creature comforts, I loved staying at Grannies and a lot of my time there fostered an understanding of nature and an interest in science that I carried with me through to my early teaching career.
There was no telephone and only connection with technology was a small black and white tv with a limited number of channels, we had a colour one at home that had more, but in those days there weren’t that many to choose from anyway and there of course was no internet, yes I hail from the Pre-Internet Age! I mention this because that small black and white tv became the source of inspiration for many a days adventuring, early morning breakfast at the table in that main room was also a time to watch The Adventures of Robinson Crusoe, (I can still hum that signature tune in my head).
After shipwreck, Robinson Crusoe survives alone on island, building shelter, reminiscing about past, with wildlife as company, the episodes lasted a short time but they set us up for the day with loads inspiration for our own adventures into building shelters and going on expeditions around the lake and of course fishing off The Deep Rock.
Back to the perspective, I had occasion to visit Grannis again recently to attend the wake of an uncle who had died, he had inherited the house and nothing remains of that original structure, now a modern bungalow sits on the site of that cottage, but the memories flooded back as vivid as ever.
It’s all now different though, as I look at the vista through my adult eyes, that lake is so much smaller now, the deep rock isn’t as intimidating or scary as it was back then and even Grannies back garden is so much smaller than I remembered. This was the garden that hosted, Wimbledon Finals, FA and World Cup matches alongside All-Ireland finals it was our Theatre of Dreams.
In life we can tend to also visualize things as much bigger than they really are. Have you ever found yourself fixating on a small problem until it feels overwhelming? Or perhaps you've imagined the worst possible outcome from a minor mistake? Our minds have a way of amplifying worries, distorting reality, and making things seem far worse than they actually are.
So while my mind of my childhood amplified the size of that lake or garden, relative to my own size then but also based on our imagination creating the Robinson Crusoe fantasy world and the Cup Final scenario in that back garden our adult mind can also blow up perceived problems until they become major obstructions to our mental well-being. This tendency, often referred to as "catastrophizing" or "magnification," can cause unnecessary stress, anxiety, and even hinder our decision-making.
Our brains are wired to detect threats, a survival mechanism that has helped humans navigate dangers for centuries. However, in modern life, where threats are less about survival and more about social or emotional challenges, this mechanism can misfire. A critical email from a boss may feel like a career-ending disaster, or a disagreement with a friend may seem like the end of the relationship. These cognitive distortions occur because our emotions can cloud rational thinking, leading to exaggerated fears and irrational conclusions.
Your mind is a powerful tool, but like any tool, it needs to be used wisely. By practicing some of the techniques outlined below, you can learn to keep your thoughts in perspective, reduce unnecessary stress, and face life’s challenges with greater clarity and confidence. Remember, things are rarely as bad as they first seem, and with the right approach, you can navigate even the toughest moments with resilience and grace.
How to Overcome This Thinking Pattern
Fortunately, there are practical ways to regain perspective and prevent our minds from blowing things out of proportion:
Pause and Breathe When you notice yourself spiraling into worst-case scenarios, take a moment to pause and breathe deeply. Slow, controlled breathing helps calm the nervous system and creates space for more rational thinking.
Ask Yourself: “What’s the Evidence?” Challenge your thoughts by asking, "Is this really as bad as I think it is?" or "What proof do I have that my fear will come true?" Often, we assume the worst without actual evidence to support it.
Use Perspective-Checking Questions
Will this matter in a week? A month? A year?
Have I been through something similar before and come out fine?
What advice would I give to a friend in this situation?
Reframe the Situation Instead of thinking, "This is a disaster," try, "This is a challenge I can handle." Shifting the language you use to describe a situation can make it feel more manageable and less overwhelming.
Practice Gratitude and Positivity Regularly reflecting on things you're grateful for can help counterbalance negative thinking. When faced with a problem, remind yourself of past successes and challenges you have already overcome.
Take Action If your worries stem from something within your control, take small steps to address it. Action can help reduce anxiety and give you a sense of control over the situation.
Talk to Someone Sharing your concerns with a friend, family member, or professional can provide fresh perspectives and reassurance. Sometimes, verbalizing your fears helps you realize they’re not as dire as they seemed in your head.
Limit Exposure to Triggers If certain situations, people, or even excessive social media consumption contribute to your tendency to magnify problems, consider setting boundaries to protect your mental well-being.